It's impossible to believe...

It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

http://www.thejokeyard.com/funny_insults/student_insults.html

A woman puts on a dress two ...

A woman puts on a dress two sizes smaller than her large frame and thinking that she looked good she turned to her brother and asked, "How do I look in this dress?"
He said, "Not too bad."
Smiling ever so sweetly, she then started to prance. Realizing his mistake, the brother then said, "I said you don't look TOO bad, that doesn't mean that you don't still look bad."

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/insults-jokes

A large woman put on ...

A large woman put on a dress and asked her husband if the dress made her look different.
Her husband said, " You`re asking the wrong person, I saw you before you put it on.

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/insults-jokes

At a bar, one patron ...

At a bar, one patron to another: "Excuse me but I think you owe me a drink.
Why?
"You`re so ugly that I dropped mine when I saw you!

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/insults-jokes

A fat lady walks into...

A fat lady walks into a bar with a pig under her arm. The bartender asks: "where did you get the cow?" the fat lady says "its not a cow its a pig", and the bartender said, " I was talking to the pig"